5.31.05 . . .

Ferouk bin Femmel winks in reciting children's rhymes and disappears again.
     Yogi C. Parividens stops by to report a Ferouk sighting.
     Ernesto tells Heiny he still owes him $14.00 from a Burger King run last month.

5.30.05 . . .

Shadow finds her master's sewer-flat, adds her own magical wards to his, and waits for him to return.
     Heiny Fouquette spots Malthus, but before he can exact revenge, he's distracted by Shadow's female scent and gives chase. Jude Parish warns Heiny to to leave Shadow alone, as she'd react violently to any mating attempts.
     Dink B leaves a note for Daniel asking to talk to him about the Besøksadresse. Daniel responds he can be found at the YMCA, taking classes on loufah lumpia wrapping.
     Jude Parish returns to sewer-flat, where Shadow is waiting. Shadow confirms Marysville is "one of the old, wild places where Man's beliefs could become real." Jude Parish worries about the shifter skin now in Heiny's possession, envisioning terrible possibilities once he realizes its power.
     Heiny ignores Jude Parish's warning about Shadow and continues to track her.

5.29.05 . . .

Daniel provides Jude Parish with a background profile on the Besøksadresse and warns him that all the HAL9000s are defective. He also tells Jude Parish that although the Besøksadresse are not selling directly to earth, he has seen several for sale on eBay. Jude Parish tells Daniel that the Besøksadresse confirmed the Baron's involvement in their venture. When Daniel warns him about the lethal nature of the Besøksadresse, Jude Parish tells him that he is not exactly human, having given up his place in "the Progression" when he accepted his job.
     Malthus is seen digging in the graveyard.
     Daveman stops by, pleased to find a publication that prints only the truth. Ferouk continues to wink in and out of the blogosphere.

5.28.05 . . .

Daniel sets off a nuclear explosion at the Cirque de Marysville, then leaves a note for Heiny at the cemetary fingering Faramir Naboukov as the culprit.
     At Cirque de Marysville, Jude Parish tries to get Heiny to tell him about the stolen wolf pelt/shifter skin. Heiny denies he knows what Jude Parish is talking about and exits before Harcourt—who has just returned from a 2-day trip—can question him about the nuclear destruction at the cirque.
     Ferouk winks into the hot tub area and out.
     Daniel finds Edna May in the communal hot tub, where he tells her the Besøksadresse have opened a factory in Marysville, that the HAL9000's are all Besøksadressean spies, that he believes the Baron is behind the robot-production venture and that Jude should contact Shard-born asap. He also admits to bombing the cirque. Edna tells Daniel about the passage at DunkelZaubern, and gives him a smoking jacket and a pair of argyle socks she liberated from the Baron's bedroom. Daniel tells Edna he learned Ernie is telepathic. Edna May calls Jude, saying they need to confer asap about the alien factory.
     Jude learns about the factory, and lodges calls to Edna May & Jude Parish, calling for a meet; then sees the nuclear cloud over Cirque de Marysville and exits in search of a stiff drink.
     Jude Parish learns Shadow has broken out of her kennel, and finds out about the Besøksadressean factory and the Cirque de Marysville bombing. Ferouk continues to wink in and out of blogdom.

5.27.05 . . .

Edna May, still suffering gas attacks, meditates in the public hot tub area, where she's joined by Lexie and Ernie. Lexie continues to experience greater enlightenment when she and Ernie exchange bodies, then switch back to their own. Lexie leaves Edna May a bottle of Pepto Bismol, and returns to Mini Mart 'n' Art Gallery. Ernie exits to find Dink. Edna May, finally alone, let's it rip while she sips the Pepto and continues to meditate and plan her next move at DunkelZaubern.
     In the Cascades, Millicent Cowslip-Rundle and Harla Bottomswallow make landfall, and Harla tenders her resignation from the Ladies Auxiliary.
     Ferouk bin Femmel, bouncing around the blogosphere, winks into Humptulips, and disappears again.
     Shadow, Jude Parish's dog, breaks out of her kennel and searches for her master at his sewer-flat. Edna May, wearing the ring of invisibility, sees Shadow and a sinister ninja on her way to DunkelZaubern, where she waits until Dink B falls asleep, then slips into the shop. Inside, she sees Ferouk wink in and out, then makes her way to the ladies room to wait until nightfall.
     Bunny Stachelschwein & Ernie enter the shop via the passageway. Ernie hears a noise in the bathroom stall and finds Edna May standing on the toilet seat. Edna is startled, and passes out, making a racket when she falls, causing Bunny to investigate. Edna May realizes her spying abilities are less than adequate and decides to lay her cards on the table, asking Bunny to show her the passage. With some misgivings, Bunny agrees, and leads Edna May to an underground cistern which holds a huge machine, surrounded by numerous pedestals. Bunny explains the pedestals take one to wherever they want to go. Edna touches one, disappears, reappears and tells Bunny she crashed a Prince party. Trying again, this time for Tacoma, she lands in the Baron's bathroom while he's showering. She returns with a pair of silk men's shorts liberated from the Baron's bedroom which she gives to Bunny. She convinces him to join her for another quick peek, then they return to the shop where they join Dink for dinner. Dink is unhappy to learn Edna May snuck into the shop again, but reluctantly forgives her.

5.26.05 . . .

Edna May awakens in the public hot tub, exits to the duplex where Jude nurses her. Jude calls JudeParrish to see if his second interview with the Baron fared any better than the first. JudeP tells her he's still with Heppi, and missed it, but it's probably just as well as he believes the Baron is "onto him." Jude says she wants to confer with him re the items Edna found at the Baron's when he returns.
     Ernesto makes an appearance; explains he's been away illegally fishing.
     Dink enters hot tub area where he talks with Edna May. He says Ferouk was surveilling her when she got into the Baron's lair earlier, and asks if she saw him there. Edna's incensed to learn the boys were spying on her, then realizes she had been doing the same thing to Bunny and the Baron and relents. She tells Dink she didn't know Ferouk was there, nor remembers seeing him. She's not even sure how she got back, but seemed to be magically transported after she discovered one of the Baron's underground labs or study. Dink tells Edna Ferouk never returned, and the Marysville PD are now searching for him. Dink tries to get Edna to promise she won't break into DunkelZaubern again, which Edna evades. Dink exits for DZ; Edna May exits to the duplex, where she continues planning her next attempt to get into the passage.
     Lexie gathers cast members at the Mini Mart 'n' Art Gallery for Porcupine Love Song rehearsals.
     Heiny Fouquette, unable to find Malthus to exact revenge, decides Faramir Naboukov is the one who blew up Heiny's caravan and begins planning Faramir's demise.

5.25.05 . . .

UteGirl stops by. William Shatner, still at the Mini Mart 'n' Art Gallery, steals gum and suppositories, and exits to DunkelZaubern. Dink B sees Shatner on the way to school; walks by MIT dig, wonders what all the flap is about. C. Parvidens stops by, sees gum on ground, eats it. Jude acknowledges Yogi Parvidens.
     Lexie readies the Mini Mart 'n' Art Gallery for rehearsals; continues to crack whip to ground her. William Shatner beams back to the Mini Mart 'n' Art Gallery, where he leaves money for the earlier swiped merchandise. Leaves a note for Lexie, indicating his interest in auditioning for a production.
     Edna May awakes on the ladies room floor of DunkelZaubern. Hungry, she finds leftover pizza in the store's main room, eats some and pockets the rest, then returns to the ladies room where she finds Daniel waiting. He presents her with the bit of Heiny hair. She thanks him, genuinely pleased, and the two enter the passage. Moments later, Edna experiences a grave gas attack, and Daniel leaves. Disappointed, but determined to forge ahead, Edna dons her oxygen mask and moves down the passage. As she see a horde of insects leaving en masse, she becomes indignant and rips off the mask to proclaim "it's not that bad!" ... and passes out.
     In the storeroom, Bunny Stachelschwein realizes the pizza is missing, and sets a lure—a squeaking rubber pizza— to lure the thief out of hiding. William Shatner takes the bait. Suspecting Bill of stalking, Jude has Scotty beam Bill/Jim back onto the Enterprise. Bill disappears, yelling he'll pay for the pizza. Bunny wonders if he can lure Charo and puts a chihuahua bobblehead on counter. Charo enters, takes the bobblehead, Bunny faints from excitement.
     Bunny comes to, smells something horrific emanating from the ladies room; gets a can of Wizard, sprays the shop, heads for the ladies room, opens door and passes out from the fumes.
     Enter Millicent Cowslip-Rundle with her henchwoman, Harla Bottomswallow of the Sequim Ladies Auxiliary, demanding to a tour of the facility. The women are overcome by the fumes and pass out. The horde of insects exit the ladies room and crawl over the bodies of the unconscious women to get outside.
     Bunny regains consciousness, sprays the bathroom, and enters the passage continuing to spray. Inside he finds Edna May, slaps her conscious and helps her into the storefront, where Edna loses the pizza she swiped earlier. Bunny chides Edna for not heeding the store warnings not to enter unauthorized areas. Edna and Bunny then try to move Millicent and Harla—still unconscious—outside the shop. Millicent's pickle and her large frame defeat them. Enter Ernie, who levitates both women and sends them floating over the Cascades. Bunny suggests Edna stay away from unauthorized areas in future; Edna evades a promise to do so, thanks Bunny for his hospitality and exits to the public hot tub, where she spends the night, soaking, recovering and plotting her next incursion into DunkelZaubern.

5.24.05 . . .

JudeParrish calls Edna; tells her Heppi is fairly certain the drawing on the patch of human skin is a mechanical servant, powered by magic. Heppi also thinks Bunny is an Enchanter. He warns her to be careful at DunkelZaubern, as Bunny may have laid traps for intruders.
     Edna May picks up JudeP's message. She feels badly about coercing Dink to aid her in her break-in into DZ; during meditation, she thinks of another way in.
     At the MIT dig, Senta Maayan discovers something and brings it to Professor Dickwell's attention.
     Daniel checks the traps he set for Heiny in the cemetary. One has been sprung and holds a bit of wolf hair. Daniel decides to give it to Edna; renews his vow to dispose of Heiny.
     Edna May dons her skulking attire, including the ring of invisibility, waits at DunkelZaubern until Dink falls asleep, then let's herself into the store and hides in the ladies room, waiting for midnight and Daniel to join her. Eats Spam from her survival rations, and falls asleep.
     Lexie wakes up on the floor of the Mini Mart 'n' Art Gallery, and realizes she's been unconscious for days. Her enlightenment has progressed significantly...she can now see the molecular structure of the environment. Wondering how she will be able to function, she begins to lose it, then cracks her whip, and the action/sound grounds her, enabling her to focus.
     William Shatner enters the Mini Mart 'n' Art Gallery, wonders if Invasion Iowa has played locally yet; looks for his CD, Has Been...realizes Lexie doesn't stock it.

5.23.05 . . .

Isabella—still topless but wearing gold lame trousers, a gift from Bunny, and purple pumps—dances through Marysville with Vinnie. William Shakespeare comments.
     Senta Maayan fails to connect with Enzo and wonders where/who he is, after Jude said to expect him; on the site dig, she fantasizes about "the beautiful Italian man by the hot tub."
     Edna May calls Daniel's cellphone and leaves a message that she's convinced Dink B to let her into the shop at midnight, although she's not sure he will keep his promise not to tell Bunny. She asks Daniel to meet her there tonight. Enter Millicent Cowslip-Rundle, who overhears Edna's phone call and rallies to alert the Sequim Ladies Auxiliary.
     Still fuming over his betrayal, Heiny Fouquette assumes it was Malthus who blew up his caravan, and now stalks him, bent on revenge.
     Dink B worries about his reluctant agreement to let Edna into Dunkelzaubern, and keep it a secret from Bunny. However, he finds a solution to his dilemna when he realizes Edna never asked him to keep that information from Ernie. On his way back to the store, he stops by the MIT campsite to watch the crew work.

5.22.05 . . .

Enzo practices martial arts in his backyard by the public hot tub; Isabella and Vinnie dance through, Izzie still naked but wearing her purple pumps; Senta Maayan—an archeologist with the MIT research team—enters the hot tub area. Admires Enzo, Vinnie and Isabella.
     Daniel arrives at Dunkelzaubern, demanding to give Ernie his English lesson. Frustrated when no one will answer the door, he exits. Ernie meows, then sniggers at his joke.
     Edna May enters the hot tub area, again wearing the ring of invisibility, assumes the lotus position and meditates while planning a way into Dunkelzaubern without Bunny knowing. Enter Dink, who tries out a joy buzzer—a gift from Bunny—on Edna, then runs away laughing. Enter Daniel. Edna May tells him Dink is now working for Bunny and staying at Dunkelzaubern. She thinks she may be able to get the boy to let her into the shop at night, but is concerned he might tell Bunny. The two discover the ring will not work on him, so she'll need to find another way to get him into the shop. She mentions that she's lost most of her memory of the previous day. When Daniel says he plans to dig a large hole and sit in it, she asks if he could do it by the Wooster Mausoleum as a trap for Heiny. Daniel asks where Heiny lives. Edna tells him about the midget's circus caravan, but also says Heiny's rarely there anymore. Daniel exits, and Edna May exits looking for Dink. A short time later, a large explosion rocks the caravan at the Cirque de Marysville.
     Senta Maayan enters for a dip in the public hot tub. While she soaks, Heiny watches from concealment, then exits to the cemetary as a brilliant moon breaks through the night clouds.

5.21.05 . . .

Morning dawns as Daniel's circuitry once again fails. Edna May is devastated, and mourns the fallen robot, endlessly singing Time After Time. Enter Jude who susses the situation and summons Shardborn. They spar, dicker and make a deal: for a Zen rock gardens from the Discovery Store; tea; a Snickers bar; a large, bad-tempered, big-horned goat; and a signed copy of Milton's Paradise Lost, Shardborn will repair Daniel. While Jude is away gathering the items, Shardborn amuses himself with Daniel's severed head and frightens Edna with it, who—of course—passes out. Jude returns with the items, and Shardborn tells Jude he can ensure he is totally sane by taking away his free will, or he can allow him to have free will but that will make him "mostly nuts" but not homicidal. Jude opts for free will and mostly nuts. Shardborn repairs Daniel and exits. Jude slings the still unconscious Edna over her shoulder and exits with Daniel singing and dancing the mambo. William Shakespeare provides a suitable end comment.

5.20.05 . . .

JudeParish takes the diagram to Heppi for analysis, who thinks it's either a plan for a clockwork creature, or a modified toaster. Needs further time to analyze. JudeParish calls Jude; says he believes residents are pilfering from Dunkelzaubern, and asks her to watch for unusual items around town.
     Malthus pops in to say thanks for the link.
     Chet Hutton asks for help re. the following items he found at the Johnson farm inside an old wooden box: a monkey skull with small silver skulls embedded into the bone; a scroll made from dried goat skin; and a talisman with a crystal shaft and a tooth at one end. JudeParrish, calling from out of town, tells Chet he will take a look at them when he returns.
     The Most Honourable Yogi C. Parvidens comments: Things are not what they appear to be. Nor are they otherwise. Ernie bows in recognition of Yogi Parvidens. Ditto Edna May.
     Enter Daniel and Malthus. Edna and Malthus spar; Edna brings up the choir incident in Sequim again. Malthus still denies any complicity, altho' Edna says she has proof. The two reach an uneasy truce when Malthus vows to have no more to do with Heiny. Daniel tells Edna he's been experiencing difficulty with his programming, then begins ranting about PETA, vegetarianism and sentient vegetables and goes into convulsions. Trying to help him, Edna is knocked unconscious. Malthus takes a powder. Jude enters, assesses the situation and exits, taking Edna May and Daniel with her to the duplex where she has something she hopes will help Daniel.
     Heiny Fouquette who has watched the scenario, declares war on Malthus for his betrayal.
     William Shakespeare weighs in. Dink B stops by for snigger, followed by Ernie. Millicent Cowslip-Rundle smacks Dink; Ernie—following Dink—nips Millicent. Bob stops in for a greeting, and is smacked by Millicent. Heiny bites Millicent on the leg and leaves howling. Millicent exits, pronouncing everyone hooligans.
     Enzo enters, slips into public hot tub for his ritual evening bath and is soon joined by Willie Nelson. Edna May, wearing the ring of invisibility, enters and teases Willie by making him think Enzo—now asleep— is farting and coming onto him. Dink arrives and watches while Edna hides Willie's clothes; then the two exit. Assuming Enzo took his clothes, Willie takes Enzo's, then exits, leaving Enzo still asleep in the tub.
     Narrator gives bird's eye view of residents as night settles over Marysville.

5.19.05 . . .

The Gazette reports on recently launched plans for a new Disaster Mitigation Center. In Ask Edna, Edna May nails Bug la Béouf for trying to sell compromising photos of Ashen following her non-demise.
     Enzo picks up Jude's request and agrees to escort Senta around town. Jude suggests he show her the Indian caves and hot springs pool.
     Bunny Stachelschwein places a notice in Dunkel-Zaubern's window indicating he has been detained on urgent business and should return within a day or two.
     Edna May stops by DunkelZaubern, then visits the public hottub. There she tries on a ring she "borrowed" from DunkelZaubern, and discovers it has the ability to make its wearer invisible. Delighted, she leaves it on and waits for an unsuspecting hot tubber. Enter Enzo, who strips and slips into the tub. Grabbing the opportunity, Edna snaps digital photos of the unsuspecting Enzo, frequently using the zoom lens...for artistic purposes.
     Enter Faramir Naboukov, who flirts with the now sleeping Enzo. When Naboukov tries to join Enzo in the tub, Edna May gooses him with a stick. Naboukov assumes Enzo is teasing him, then Edna trips Naboukov, sending him flying. Naboukov tells Enzo he's too rough, but if he'd be a bit more gentle, Naboukov would be available. He exits, leaving Edna May with the oblivious Enzo.
     Enter Dink B. He tells Edna he can see her. They spar; Edna lets him stay if he's quiet. How can he see her if she's invisible? He shrugs; he could see Ashen when she was invisible too. Edna falls asleep watching Enzo turn pruney; enter Jude who collects the two and exits, leaving Enzo sleeping in the tub.
     At midnight, Heiny Fouquette breaks into DunkelZaubern and steals the midget wolf suit. Ernie witnesses the theft...he smiles slyly, as tho' expecting it. William Shakespeare witnesses the theft; believes there's something rotten in Dunkelzaubern.

5.18.05 . . .

KRZY, Marysville's radio station, headlines the body ID screw-up at the morgue.
     Ari adopts a cat and names it Cheshire.
     Bunny Stachelschwein places a sign in Dunkel-Zaubern's window indicating the store will be closed until evening. William Shatner passes by. William Shakespeare rolls over in his grave. Edna May visits DunkelZaubern hoping to investigate further; leaves a pair of chartreuse Birkenstocks for Bunny. Bunny is pleased with the giftie.
     Various residents stop by the shop and peer through the window:  Vinne A (wants a gift for Izzie); Faramir Naboukov (covets Bunny's pants & Birkenstocks); Heiny Fouquette (wants the midget wolf suit); Millicent Cowslip-Rundle (is outraged by what she sees, leaves to rally her ladies auxiliary to action). Shatner & Millicent exchange unpleasantries. William Shakespeare phonetically quotes himself.
     JudeParish leaves a message on Edna May's cellphone. After Jude allows him to examine the pieces Edna took from the Baron, he tells Edna: the dagger needs further study, but is not quite what it seems; the mechanical diagram is printed on human skin—he'll have Heppi try to determine what the mechanism is; the book and map are a set—a skilled cartographer and linguist will have to decipher them; the rock is sentient, tho' weak-minded.
     Enzo—an avid fan of William Shatner—spots Bill and gives chase, yelling he owns all his albums. Jude spots Enzo, and leaves a note asking if he would be available to escort one of MIT's research team around town this weekend, an Israeli archeologist named Senta Kinneret Maayan.

5.17.05 . . .

Bunny Stachelschwein, proprietor of the DunkelZaubern—a new curio stop with über-peculiar items—opens the shop. JudeParish stops by to question Bunny about his backer (ostensibly Baron von Tötennacht) and the origin of his stock. Bunny proves difficult to manipulate, but JudeP is able to glean a few important clues:  Bunny is obviously more than he seems, possibly a magus, with a mouse familiar named Ernie.
     Enter Edna May, hoping to learn more about Bunny and the dark mirror Edna discovered at the Baron's lair, and the items she filched. Bunny plays the dimwit, until JudeP ushers Edna May from the shop. The two spar, and JudeP exits—after purchasing a soul-catcher urn that had caught Edna May's eye—certain Bunny is connected to the Baron, but still unclear as to specifics.
     JudeP finds Edna May in the public hot tub, where he questions her about the dark mirror. He concludes it's not a portal, but remains uncertain as to its true nature or purpose. He's not surprised to find Ernie has joined them and is listening to their conversation.
     Enter Isabella when she overhears Edna May offer JudeP a pair of shoes. The two wax ecstatic over Edna's ever-growning collection. JudeP exits, while the Isabella & Edna adjourn to Edna's duplex where Isabella selects a pair of purple stilleto dancing shoes. *fade out*
     Daniel enters doing an impression of Jack Nicholson in The Shining. He tells Edna May that he's been feeling unfettered since their visit to the Baron's and his inhibitor chip has been removed. Edna is pleased for him, and suggests they go to DunkelZaubern. There, she encourages Daniel to speak with Ernie, convinced the mouse can understand and communicate with them. While Daniel tries unsuccessfully to get Ernie to speak—"Repeat after me:  My trousers are filled with turkey tetrazzini."—Edna May visits the ladies room. When she returns, she selects two urns to purchase: a risqúe Fred Flintstone urn, and a small brass urn, which Daniel buys for her. Edna invites Bunny & Ernie to a hottub party at the duplex, hoping to pry more information out of him. Bunny accepts.
     Edna & Daniel return to Edna's duplex, where she shows Daniel fotos she took in the DunkelZaubern ladies room, which reveal a concealed doorway that leads into a subterranean passage. She also shows him the items she took from the Baron's chamber: a small dark stone, seemingly ordinary, but when stared at, reveals moving pinpoints of light; a jade dagger; a small ancient journal;
a map; a large piece of cloth that feels like human skin, which bears a mechanical diagram; and a pendant embedded with an odd cross.
     Meanwhile, Ernie visits the morgue, levitates the body
in the bag and brings it back to DunkelZaubern.
     JudeP leaves a message on Edna May's cellphone saying he plans to view the items she took from the Baron's tomorrow afternoon. He warns Edna May to be ultra careful around Bunny and Ernie.