Heiny Fouquette » *considers JudeP's proposal, sucks teeth in deep contemplation for two seconds* ...........uh, no.... *cackles*
....I yam what I yam, and that's all what I yam.  *exits capering and braying*

6.28.05 . . .

Judeparish » Heiny, I'm gonna ask you one more time to toss that pelt and get another one from a more...normal...source. Heck, I could probably hook you up one if need be. But this will be the last time I ask. I won't be coming for you anymore for now...I gave Edna the means to deal with you, should you not divest of your own will. Goodnight Heiny

6.24.05 . . .

Heiny Fouquette » *glares at the offending door, snarls*  Eh, bite me, nancy boy!  *stalks off calling Lobster Boy's name*  Ooohhh Laaaahbster Boyyyy, come to Heiny...I have something for yooooooouuuu...

Heathcliff Fouquette » *jerks open door to his caravan, white-faced*  Oh for Pete's sake, Heiny! I can't take your racket tonight! Can't you see I'm migraining again!  *slams door*

Heiny Fouquette » *returns from P-17, snarls*  Come out, come out, wherever you are, Lobster Boy! Death comes softly softly upon the night wind, and it has your name upon its breath... *rakes the side of a caravan* ...let's dance...

Lobster Boy » *clacks his claws with glee

Heathcliff Fouquette » *watches Harcourt stalk off* ....*sighs*
..........I am so under appreciated........ *exits, wan and tragic*

Harcourt Fouquette » *scowls at Heathcliff*  Oh, sit on it and spin... *exits to check on new acts*

Heathcliff Fouquette » *stands morosely beside Harcourt, sipping a cup of chamomile tea*  Man's inhumanity to man makes countless thousands mourn!...Aye, this is the way the world ends; not with a bang but a whimper.

Harcourt Fouquette » *watches Heiny disappear in the morning fog, sees burning rubble, sighs*  Considering its infestation, it's probably as well.  *begins mentally estimating the costs of replacement*

Heiny Fouquette » *enters hawking and scratching after a long night of wooing Millicent; stops and stares at the smouldering rubble that was his caravan*  ...?!WTF!!! DANIEL!!!!! You are a dead man!!......robot. A Dead Robot!!!  *snarls*  Death comes to you softly softly on swift silent paws.... *exits howling*

6.23.05 . . .

Lobster Boy » *watches Harcourt emerge from Heiny's caravan, scratching*  !#$%&! That little creep! I'm gonna find him and ... *snaps his claws together*  Grrrr. No one f——s with Lobster Boy and gets away with it!  *screams a quote from T.S. Eliot*  I SHOULDA BEEN A PAIR A' RAGGED CLAWS SCUTTLIN' ACROSS THE FLOORS A' SILENT SEAS! You ain't never gonna rest no more, Mr. Werewolf wanna-be! I gotcha in my sights.  *hurls moltov cocktail at Heiny's caravan*  No rest for the wicked!
*cackles as the caravan bursts into flame, scuttles away*

Harcourt Fouquette » *awakens in Heiny's bed, scratches head, torso furiously*  Criminy, Heiny! This is too much! Fleas?!!? If you're going to keep that pelt, for pete's sake, wash it once in awhile!! This is disgusting!  *mutters as he gets out of bed* ...try to get a little peace and quiet, only to be tormented by fleas from hell! And that smell!!  *rubs eyes, scratches furiously, notices garlic wreath around his neck...removes wreath, shakes head*  Heiny, I love you like a brother, but I don't understand you. No. I do not.  *heads for communal showers mumbling, scratching... makes mental note to replace his ruined caravan by the end of the day, and to douse Heiny in flea solution*

6.22.05 . . .

Lobster Boy » *enters crawling sideways, surveys broken glass, reads Heiny's note*  I'll teach that little freak!  *crawls into Heiny's caravan, sees him sleeping in bed; pulls down covers, shakes itching powder all over his pelt, drapes wreath of garlic around his neck, whispers*  Ya think you're a werewolf? Heh,
that oughta cook yer goose, ya little freak!  *scuttles away*

. . . . .

Heiny Fouquette » *heard offstage*  Milliiiiicennnnt....I'm commmming for yoooouuu.......arrouuuuu  *voice fades into
the dusk*

Heiny Fouquette » *smiles while he picks tiny bits of glass from his pelt, exits feeling ferally refreshed and ready to rumble*

Heiny Fouquette » *leaves message attached to large glass shard with yaked-up hairball:  Lobster Boy, My bad. I was practicing and didn't see your acquarium until it was too late. Hope you understand. ~ Harcourt*

Heiny Fouquette » *enters scratching, snarls, hawks a loogie onto Lobster Boy's chair* Out! Everybody out! And I mean NOW!!! *checks himself, realizes he's alone...the room is empty* I knew that...oh yes I did!! *sees Harcourt's bowling ball, sets up Bass Ale bottles...goes to far end of room, winds up and let's the bowling fly; it rips through the air screaming, smashing into the bottles in a massive explosion; tiny bits of glass fly everywhere;
feels disatisfied; spots Lobster Boy's acquarium......evil grin...
...winds up, bowling ball smashes into 550+ gallon coral-reef tank; thunderous crash, flying glass covers the room*

Bunny Stachelschwein » Oh dear, oh dear! Reverand Jim, the liniment is for rubbing, not drinking.  *giggles*  Here, have some of this... *hands him a bottle of Ipecac*  That will get it out of your system. And, yes, follow it with an AlkaSeltzer chaser.
*sings in haunting soprano*  Plop, plop, fizz, fizz, oh what a
relief it is...

Judeparish » Jim, I have some alka. Head over to Marysville prime. And I'm the real JudeParish...the foul little wolf-thing was Heiny.

6.21.05 . . .

Rev Jim Ignatowski » Heiny! Thank god! I think I've poisoned myself with something! Do you have some AlkaSeltzer or a purgative? Anything before I pass out, please? Heiny? Anybody? Mother of God... *reels, hurls and passes out*

Heiny Fouquette » *points at JudeParish*  No......THAT's the hideous heiny!  *guffaws, hawks up a furball, farts in JP's general direction, exits scratching...heard offstage*  Hey Crawdad! Whattya say to a small ceasefire while we find a way to roast JP's nuts.......

Rev Jim Ignatowski » Ah. This must be the hideous Heiny in question. Clearly a fellow drug afficionado. I extend my hand in friendship, friend! Greetings, my good whatever you are! Love the coat.

6.20.05 . . .

Rev Jim Ignatowski » Oh yes. I am home.

Judeparish » Dink I'll give you a Magic 101 lesson. Unless I concentrate on that particular stone, I can't hear a thing; it doesn't bother me in the least, except that I lost some prep time.

6.19.05 . . .

Dink B » *sniggers*  Um yeah, but I'll bet JudeP's ears are going to hurt when Harcourt goes bowling! hehe  *waves hi to Emmi*

Emmi » I love your blog. It looks really nice.

6.18.05 . . .

Judeparish » Hmm...you realize, Heiny, all you did was give your brother a talking bowling ball right? That didn't hurt a bit.

Svenge Ijsbeer » Heiny! Mein Gott! The bottles, man! THE BOTTLES! There might have been a drop or two left in them! Oh, my head. *looks around* Anyone got any booze?

Harcourt Fouquette » *as the game begins, faint screaming is again heard, followed by distinct curses*

Harcourt Fouquette » *enters, sees Heiny and Lobster Boy throwing elephant dung at each other, sighs; sees the oddly-shaped bunch of nasty newspaper wrapped in tossed ribbon*
...wtf?!?... *reads note, smiles, unwraps the filthy newspaper gingerly, sees bowling ball...loves the way it glows slightly*  Heiny! I wouldn't've thought you capable of such a fine gesture! The ledgers can wait...I must try this out at the lanes!  *dresses
in bowling attire, grabs bowling shoes and exits gleefully*

Heiny Fouquette » *sniggers*  You'll have to do better than that, you crusty old weenie... *apes Lobster Boy's sideways scuttle, laughing like a hyena*

Lobster Boy » Hey! Hairyass yourself, you friggin' nutcase!
*puts a plug of tabacco in his cheek, hocks the juice at Heiny's scorched hiney*

Heiny Fouquette » *sees the scrying stone, picks it up* ......
ahhh.... *exits with the stone, enters caravan, the sound of a large drill is heard—and faintly the sound of distant screaming; he emerges...the stone now has three precisely grouped holes in it; he tests it out, rolling it swiftly into a group of Bass Ale bottles across the room; it shatters them* ...and the cranker gets a STRIKE!!!  *hefts the stone*  eh... core balance is a little off, but he'll never notice... *wraps it in newspaper taken from the bottom of Bird Girl's cage, slaps on a coffee-stained ribbon retrieved from the garbage can, scribbles a note:  "Happy whatever, Harcourt ~ Heiny"; exits to hairyass Lobster Boy*

Heiny Fouquette » *wanders in, scratching and belching, yaks up furball*  Hey kid, the Lobster Boy's nuthin', I tell ya'! Nuthin'! Bird Girl's better...ask her to lay an egg when you see her.  *grins evilly*

6.17.05 . . .

Dink B » I want to see Lobster Boy and the Bird Girl...will they be here soon?

Judeparish » *frowns*  He wasn't even impressed with the fact a stone told him this...must not have noticed I'm talking through one.

Harcourt Fouquette » Daveman, the gate should open shortly. We've recently signed on several excellent new acts, and our old ones are evolving into extraordinary sideshow attractions...must have something to do with the radioactive fallout. Velda, the Bearded Lady, is indeed getting her legs waxed, but will be available shortly. Shall I ask her to contact you?

Judeparish » She's currently unavailable...she's out getting her legs waxed.

Daveman » Where's the bearded lady exibit?

6.16.05 . . .

Judeparish » *sighs, speaks through stones*  Heiny, if I didn't want to keep you alive so Edna could kill you, I'd let Shadow play with you. But I'll give you a little info. Shadow is not a normal dog...she's smooth down there, like Jessie Jackson (or Barbie, if you've never heard the joke).

6.15.05 . . .

Heiny Fouquette » *hears JudeP's voice, snarls* ...saucy wench...come to papa, my little black bitch... *tosses head back, emits a haunting mating howl*

6.12.05 . . .

Judeparish » *having set up scrying stones around the circus, smiles at Heiny's problem; speaks thru the stones*  Heiny, your brother wanted to talk to you...and Shadow reminds you to go to hell.

Heiny Fouquette » *exits caravan, sees burning bag, stomps on it*  WTF?!! #!$#!##!!  *shakes fist, snarls*  Freaking circus terrorists!!!! Death is coming to your neighborhood!  *exits on all fours, howling*

Lobster Boy » *puts elephant feces in a paper bag, sets it on Heiny's caravan steps, lights it, knocks on caravan door, cackling as he scuttles away with astonishing speed*

Heiny Fouquette » *enters yawning and scratching, pops one with Lobster Boy*  Eh, pipe down, pervert...it'll start when it starts... *yaks up furball, lobs it into Lobster Boy's glass, exits to his caravan*

Lobster Boy » *crawls on*  Gimme one a those ales. When's this friggin' show start?

Jude » Will do...catch you later, Harcourt.  *exits*

Harcourt Fouquette » *eyes cash box*  We'll have that puppy overflowing in no time! BTW, if you see Heiny, tell him I need to talk to him.

Harcourt Fouquette » Nicely, Jude, if I do say so. We've just added Bonita the Bird Girl, and Lobster Boy has signed on. We should be able to open the gate soon.

Jude » *enters, looks around*  I'm liking what you're doing with the cirque, Harcourt...how're the acts lining up?

Heathcliff Fouquette » *enters, looking wan and tragic*  Can we keep it down out here? Please?  *exits like a pale wraith*

Harcourt Fouquette » Editor, thank you for the wallpaper change. My eyes—neigh, every bleeding crevice!—thanks you!
     JudeP, I have indeed read your message. However, Heiny was never one easily swayed from something once he set his mind on it. I'll do my best, but...in the words of the great philosopher...it is whut it is. Look at the upside:  perhaps it will mean large gates this summer!
     Svenge, in gratitude for saving our town—and the planet—I will personally ensure we stock Bass Ale in huge quantities, especially for you and your fellow Ijsbeer! Cheers!  *raises a bottle in salute to Svenge*

6.11.05 . . .

Svenge Ijsbeer » *eyes everyone owlishly*  Nope. Now...is the time to find another drink.  *staggers around*  You have a bar in this joint?  *tips empty glass*  Nope, not a drop left. This is a sad, sad day.  *sighs*  There MUST be booze SOMEWHERE... *paws through random caravan wreckage*  Ah-ha!  *triumphantly hoists an irradiated can of beer, drinks it down, begins to glow a faint green*  Good stuff. I feel better. MUCH better.  *staggers off to try his hand at shooting balloons with a BB gun*

Judeparish » Harcourt, have you read my message? Now is not the time to be worrying about wallpaper.

6.10.05 . . .

ed. note:  *wallpaper was changed after several people reported bleeding from eyes, ears, nose and other various cavities*

Heathcliff Fouquette » *enters looking pain-stricken, retires to his caravan, a wan and tragic figure*

Heiny Fouquette » *snarls*  I like it! What's the matter with it?!  *yaks up hairball, plasters it on the wallpaper*  There! Now it's perfect!  *pops the perfect little balloons like bubblewrap*

Harcourt Fouquette » Oh my god! Who did this?!?! My eyes are bleeding! Take the wallpaper off!!! NOW!!!

6.09.05 . . .

Judeparish » Harcourt, I know we haven't met yet, but I've come to speak to you about Heiny. He's caught hold of an item that is quite powerful and doing some very horrid things to his mind...warping it even more than normal. He's about to invoke the spiritual link between the item he has and it's original powers. If he bloodies himself on a mortal human, there will be no way he can return from the madness. If this becomes the case, my job will change from retrieving that item to hurting him, possibly killing him if I'm not careful. But that is neither here nor there at this point. You need to know how important it is that you speak with your brother.
     And Hrothgar is NOT telling you the truth about who bombed the caravan. I was at ground zero; I SAW, but we can deal with that later. Good luck and may the lore of the world be your guide.
*returns to the sewer-flat to re-enforce the wards with Shadow*

Hrothgar Hvalros » *cackles evilly*

Heiny Fouquette » *snarls* ....grrrouwrsst!! COWslip!!!  *rakes caravan, leaves deep grooves in side*  Death comes swiftly on silent paws...let's dance, Millicent! Aurrrooooo!!  *sniffs night air and lopes off towards Sequim howling and gnashing his teeth*

Hrothgar Hvalros » I have kept you in suspense long enough. $3.56 will do.  *pulls Heiny aside*  You did not hear this from me. The culprit is... *whispers* ...Millicent Cowslip-Rundle and the Sequim Ladies Auxiliary. They have long hated your circus. They nuked the Cirque de Marysville, and your retribution should be swift. I will deny having given you this information. Goodbye...
for now.  *takes the $3.56, exits*

6.06.05 . . .

Edna May » *searches the midway for Daniel; nada; exits to look for him elsewhere...flips Heiny the finger before exiting*

6.04.05 . . .

Heiny Fouquette » *offstage* ...warped mind! I've got your warped mind right here!  *moons JudeP*  Aorrrroouuuu!!!

Heiny Fouquette » Never, JudeP! Never!! It's mine, Mine, MINE!!!!  *runs in circles on all fours, coughs, yaks up furball, exits howling*

Judeparish » Well, first she's salt and pepper, not all black. Second, Shadow doesn't like shifters and will rip you to bits. And finally, even if you did find my sewer-flat, the wards around it are so strong now, you'd light up like a roman candle long before Shadow got to you. The skin is warping your mind. Give it to me for proper disposial, and maybe your mind won't become seriously afflicted. And DO NOT BURN IT!

Heiny Fouquette » JudeP.....I am not here. I run with the dogs.... er, wolves.... now, feral and free! Have you seen that black bitch around here?  *catches a scent, exits howling*

Harcourt Fouquette » Hrothgar:  Most of our available funds are being funneled into rebuilding the circus at the moment. We could however spare, say maybe $3.56. We do wish to know who the culprit is, but the circus must come first. It is not a job, you know...it is our life. Remind me to speak with you about working a deal to buy some high-flying robots.  ~HF

Judeparish » Heiny, are you still around? I want that wolfskin back before you do great harm to yourself.

Hrothgar Hvalros » Yes, I have....information for you. How much would you be willing to pay for information such as this? I assure you, the guilty party will come as quite a shock to you.

6.01.05 . . .

Judeparish » Hmmmm...a circus of Tuskie 'bots...*shudders*

Hrothgar Hvalros » Mr. Fouquette:  We have information on the person responsible for setting the nuclear bombs on your property. We are willing to sell that information for a very attractive price. The person you believe responsible is not. Do contact us if you are interested.  *end Besøksadresse communication*

Judeparish » Damn, pretty nasty nuke...you guys really will have a freak show now.

Heiny Fouquette » *drops note before exiting quietly*  JudeP:  I don't know what you're talking about...there's nothing strange in Marysville...but there's GONNA BE!!!  *cackles, yakes up furball*

Harcourt Fouquette » *surveys radiated carnage, assumes martyred expression* ...I leave for two days and come back to this... Heiny!!!!!

5.28.05 . . .

Judeparish » I haven't said there is anything wrong with you, just that people are saying your up to some strange things... maybe you've come across and interesting item you'd like to tell me about?  *pulls at the cuff of his gloves, which make an odd popping sound like a strong static discharge*

Ferouk bin Femmel » *wonders fleetingly how he landed here... barely has time to yell Help! before disappearing again*

Heiny Fouquette » *snarls, yaks up hairball*  I don't know what you're inferring.....there's nothing wrong with me!  *lopes off on all fours, howling*

Judeparish » Oi, Heiny...I've heard about you. What's with the wolfskin and the marking behavior? Sounds...feral.

Lobster Boy » Hey! I'm ready for my close-up, Mr. De Mille! And hey! Make sure you git my name right, lousy sons 'a bitches.

5.27.05 . . .

***